Space

Aside from the castle my future husband is going to buy for me, I don't really fantasize about having a huge house. I see a big house as something that cost more to heat and cool and clean. I especially don't understand why small families need big houses. Why does a mom, dad and two kids need a four bedroom house? Or bigger?

In my neighborhood, the houses are pretty small. Little post-war ranch and bungalow styles houses. Most are about 1400 sq feet, have a living room, kitchen, one bath, three bedrooms. Maybe there is a dining alcove set off from the kitchen. These are the size of houses that our grandparents raised our mom's and dad's in. Kids shared a 12x12 room. And it was doable!

Having visited a friend who recently bought one of these houses, I felt a little claustrophobic. And it makes me feel bad because I feel like I'm trying to create a justification for having a larger house. And then I started thinking about the relativity of size. These houses were built for my grandparents generation. both of my grandmothers were 4'9". I'm 5'9" And entire foot taller.

My 4'9" grandmother could be in a 12x12 room, which is 144 sq feet. She would have an approx arm reach of 5'0 so let's just round up and say my grandmother could take up 25 sq feet which would leave 119 sq feet of non-human space available. At 5'9" and a 6 foot reach I take up about 36 sq feet which would leave 108 sq ft. And we aren't even calculating actual body mass. I know 11 feet of difference doesn't sound like a lot, but section off that much from one of your rooms and see if you don't notice it. And then section of that much from every room...

And then there's just being a whole foot closer to the ceiling too!

The Atlantic

There's an article in the March issue of the Atlantic on assisted suicide. Though very well articulated to the benefits of it, I didn't finish reading the article. But it did get me thinking.

In my heart, I wish that I could believe it was okay. I remember going to visit my dad in the hospital when he was dying from cancer. He was really sick for a very long time. He had always been an active man. Not even five kids could wear him out. And then he just laid in a hospital bed. Shut off from sunshine and movement.

I know people watch loved ones as they suffer even worse fates than that. And my heart does wish that we could bring closer what is inevitable.

For me it's not even a question of is it right or wrong and how does God see it, as much as looking at what God's purpose for us on this earth. And it's to learn. And learning causes pain a lot of the time. There are things we learn in our own suffering and there are things we learn in watching the suffering of our loved ones. I know that our experiences and learning are taken with us into eternal life. It is not our place to say when that learning should end.

The article says that assisted suicide is about human rights. We really want to control so many things, even our own deaths. I myself have perfectly thought about how I want to peacefully die on the summer solstice of my 120th year.

I don't know why this article made me want to post something. I think I just get sad when we fail to realize the purpose of our life and try to avoid pain. Pain isn't the purpose, but pain is part of the process. I know I want to enter into eternal life gleaning all that I can from this mortal life.