A while back, a friend asked on her blog, for people to list their favorite body part. We love to pick apart our bodies and find the major and minor flaws that make us a real human being. I thought it was a great post from my friend, but I never personally accepted the challenge.
I’m not a petite girl. I was born tall like my dad, and curvy like my mom, and my step-dad worked solid muscle into the mix. I tend to get most compliments on my body when I’m at the gym, or out hiking, biking, or being active. Somehow, normal clothes mask my best features. What looks sexy curvy and strong in a swimming suit looks fat in a sweater. What looks powerful and sleek in shorts looks…well, I don’t even try to wear jeans…Am I the only woman in America who feels more comfortable nude than clothed? Why did Lucifer have to tell Adam and Eve they were naked?
However, there are some compliments no woman likes to hear, not matter how honest and sincere they may be. Thursday night while at the gym, I was working in leg lifts with a small Brazilian man. He was lifting 150 lb, me 50 lb. He was helping me re-weight the machine and he says “You have such strong legs.” With a lascivious smile and then proceeded to watch me with my 12 rep set. The rest of the evening he followed me around the gym. (Which is also why I never talk, or make eye contact, with anyone at the gym!) On Friday, as I was walking through the Public Gardens, two men walked past me and one said “I love your big beautiful legs!” Okay, seriously, the words ‘love’ and ‘beautiful’ do not override the word ‘big’ here.
I do like my legs because they carry me here and there and hold me up and they are strong. But I think my favorite things about me that are also big, are my heart and my brain. Unfortuantly, I can't really take a photo of those things. Sorry.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Feasting
I recently read an essay from Krista Bremer titled “My accidental Jihad” in which the author describes the lesson’s she learns during her husband’s observance of Ramadan. As she is coming to terms with the natural human tendency towards selfishness, she wonders “Is love an endless feast, or is it what people manage to serve each other when their cupboards are bare?”
The statement first hit my heart where I had to honestly acknowledge that a few of my friends that I have been frustrated with have fed me over and over, even though their cupboards were wiped clean. And I know that I do not. I hoard. I have little stashes and pockets of me saved away from everyone.
After I mulled that realization over for awhile, I started thinking how this concept applies to not only our relationships with ourself, and with other people, but with things such as work, school, hobbies, etc. Am I pursuing dreams in my life that I can continue to serve even when my cupboards are bare? Elder Oaks Sunday afternoon talk also talked about this: There is good, better and best. Work towards the best thing.
I habitually pursue things that weren’t as important to me for lack of courage. But all those things I’ve worked towards aren’t necessarily things that I will be able to serve when I am empty. There is too much going out and not enough coming in. And I don’t mean enough “ME” time. I am selfish or self preserving enough to demand that, but I don’t have enough important nourishment coming in to sustain me.
Safety is Wonder Bread and a glass of water.
The statement first hit my heart where I had to honestly acknowledge that a few of my friends that I have been frustrated with have fed me over and over, even though their cupboards were wiped clean. And I know that I do not. I hoard. I have little stashes and pockets of me saved away from everyone.
After I mulled that realization over for awhile, I started thinking how this concept applies to not only our relationships with ourself, and with other people, but with things such as work, school, hobbies, etc. Am I pursuing dreams in my life that I can continue to serve even when my cupboards are bare? Elder Oaks Sunday afternoon talk also talked about this: There is good, better and best. Work towards the best thing.
I habitually pursue things that weren’t as important to me for lack of courage. But all those things I’ve worked towards aren’t necessarily things that I will be able to serve when I am empty. There is too much going out and not enough coming in. And I don’t mean enough “ME” time. I am selfish or self preserving enough to demand that, but I don’t have enough important nourishment coming in to sustain me.
Safety is Wonder Bread and a glass of water.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
look-a-like. or not.
Way back in the early days of Julia Roberts, I had people say I looked like her. I think mostly because of my big mouth. According to this nifty system, these are 8 celebrities I look like now. Somehow I'm mostly Asian....The only one I mostly agree with is Jamie Lynn Spears and I'm not so sure how pleased I am that I look like the Spears girls. But I don't know I am from Shreveport LA. Maybe we're cousins?
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Your A Nation
There are a *few* things I'm obsessive about; gum, popcorn, vegetables and water. Lots and lots and lots of water. Every once in a while I’ll measure how much I drink, and it’s around four gallons a day. It’s excessive, I know, but I can’t help myself! I love the wet clear liquidity of it. I swear I can feel my blood cells plump up after a tall glass of water.
The down side to all this water consumption is the water expulsion. As noted in previous post, I love to go walking and hiking. Unfortunately, I can’t go hiking for more than two hours without needing to go to pee.
Most often I go hiking with my backpack, if nothing else to hold an extra pack of gum and my wallet incase I want to run an errand on the way home. Today, however, I wanted to be light and mobile, and left the pack at home. There was one errand on my way, and I tucked my Bank of America card into the little pocket on the inside of my running shorts.
It was a beautiful hike along a new rocky trail. I would climb to a little summit and look out on the view with the city in the distance and the Snoopy clouds in the sky. Down I would go, jumping from rock to tree root, swinging down the path, running with the red dragon flies. After an hour, the path forked. I could access the gravel road that would lead me out of the Fells and back home, or I could continue on for a while. I chose to continue on, but with each passing step and jump, I felt that it wasn’t the right choice and decided to turn around and take the shorter route.
As nature would have it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it another hour back home with out visiting a nice big tree or boulder. I sat my walkman down and found a little place off the trail. The hike home would be much more comfortable now.
Two miles later, three blocks from my house, I realized that my Bank of America card was no longer in my short pocket. For an instance I thought “I’ll just call it in lost and have it replaced.” But I believe if you break it you fix it, lose it, find it. I had to at least attempt at retracing my steps to try to find it.
I casually scanned the mile long stretch of sidewalk but I knew it wouldn’t be there. I was confident that it had flipped out of my pocket during my haste in lowering and pulling back up my shorts, way back deep in the trail. While my bladder may fail me, the endurance of my legs walking, the earnestness of following my conviction, and pure faith led me to the very spot the card laid. I knew that I would find it, but it’s still a miracle. One little golden leaf colored 2 inch card in a 25,000 acre leaf covered land.
So the moral of the story is, drinking water will give you soft skin, and leave your bank card at home when going hiking.
The down side to all this water consumption is the water expulsion. As noted in previous post, I love to go walking and hiking. Unfortunately, I can’t go hiking for more than two hours without needing to go to pee.
Most often I go hiking with my backpack, if nothing else to hold an extra pack of gum and my wallet incase I want to run an errand on the way home. Today, however, I wanted to be light and mobile, and left the pack at home. There was one errand on my way, and I tucked my Bank of America card into the little pocket on the inside of my running shorts.
It was a beautiful hike along a new rocky trail. I would climb to a little summit and look out on the view with the city in the distance and the Snoopy clouds in the sky. Down I would go, jumping from rock to tree root, swinging down the path, running with the red dragon flies. After an hour, the path forked. I could access the gravel road that would lead me out of the Fells and back home, or I could continue on for a while. I chose to continue on, but with each passing step and jump, I felt that it wasn’t the right choice and decided to turn around and take the shorter route.
As nature would have it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it another hour back home with out visiting a nice big tree or boulder. I sat my walkman down and found a little place off the trail. The hike home would be much more comfortable now.
Two miles later, three blocks from my house, I realized that my Bank of America card was no longer in my short pocket. For an instance I thought “I’ll just call it in lost and have it replaced.” But I believe if you break it you fix it, lose it, find it. I had to at least attempt at retracing my steps to try to find it.
I casually scanned the mile long stretch of sidewalk but I knew it wouldn’t be there. I was confident that it had flipped out of my pocket during my haste in lowering and pulling back up my shorts, way back deep in the trail. While my bladder may fail me, the endurance of my legs walking, the earnestness of following my conviction, and pure faith led me to the very spot the card laid. I knew that I would find it, but it’s still a miracle. One little golden leaf colored 2 inch card in a 25,000 acre leaf covered land.
So the moral of the story is, drinking water will give you soft skin, and leave your bank card at home when going hiking.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Vacation
I finally took a few days off from work to go on a mini-New England vacation. Thursday and Friday were a wash with the rain, but Saturday I made it to a kayak tour with the North Shore Kayak in Rockport, MA.Oddly enough Merritt and Bryan showed up a the exact same place to go on the exact same tour! Small World!
Here, Merritt and I are modeling the latest in PDF wear.
The kayaks in wait.
On the way to the island.
waves in RI. (and my foot. I don't know how I didn't notice that when I was taking the picture.)
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Feminism...or...My Most Unpopular Post To-date
This entry is in response to my friend’s recent post on feminism (under Family Law). Let me first start by clearing up a few misconceptions people have of me. 1) I am not a vegetarian, 2) to the best of my understanding I am not a democrat, 3) I am not rebellious, and 4) I am not a feminist. Perhaps I’m just a very lucky person, and have always done what I wanted to do, and not really ever worried about if it was gender appropriate. I love dresses more than I like pants, but I like climbing trees more than playing with dolls. I went to finishing school and was in beauty pageants as a young girl, but bought a motorcycle at 16. I’m going kayaking on Saturday, and cooking dinner for friends on Sunday. I didn’t feel like any of the choices on the “Are you a feminist?” quiz fit me, and here are my lengthy reasons why:
Women should be economically and socially independent. They shouldn’t rely on men to take care of them: A PERSON should know who they are and what makes them tick. A PERSON should know where money is coming from and where money is going and how. I think it’s healthy if a PERSON has a friend or two outside of the family, and their own hobbies. I don’t think it’s right for a woman to expect, or solicit, nice expensive gifts and dinners and such, but in raising a family, I think it is best for one person to be earning an income and one person to be running the household. Both responsibilities are equally hard and equally rewarding and equally important. Just different.
There is no such thing as a “man’s job.” It is wrong for men to be given preference for any job position, even if women traditionally aren’t in that field: growing up I WISHED my dad thought there were ‘men’ jobs and ‘womens’ jobs! I can think of a few jobs, that the average man can do better than the average woman. If I were trapped in a burning house, I would prefer a 6’0” muscular man to carry me out of the 3rd floor, than a 5’6” fit woman. A woman can breast feed, a man can’t. But for most working positions, I think regardless of your gender, race, or religion we should be treated fairly and equitably.
Men and women should be held to the same sexual standards. If men can sleep around without judgment, women should be able to do the same: I don’t think MEN should sleep around! How ‘bout we ALL practice a little sexual monogamy?
Women should take an equal role in dating. Women should ask out people they are interested in and take their turn in paying: Okay, so this one I strongly agree with, and have practiced in the past, and know from sad experience that even though I AGREE with this one, it doesn’t work. At all.
Women should accept their bodies as they are. Women should not have to conform to wacky beauty ideals: I also agree with this one, but maybe not in the way that I’ve heard some women put it. I think we should care about how our bodies work and how healthy we are. I work out every day. I eat a well-balanced diet, and try to get the right amount of sleep. I’m pretty amazed at how my body works; my fingers, my legs, the inside and the out. But yes, it is frustrating when you are 5’9”, wear a size 8, and because you have a C cup, the guy you are dating tells you that women with large breast are fat because breast are just fat cells. And it is frustrating that women at work spend $250 on a hair cut and color, get manicures every week, and spend a fortune on cloths and shoes and are treated more ‘professionally’ than me who is a bit more frugal than all that.
Women should have the right to choose any path in life – from being a stay at home mom to a Fortune 500 CEO: You bet, everyone should have the right to choose their own path. Each choice does have a purpose, a blessing and a consequence. It just seems to me that women who choose one path are pretty nasty to women who choose a different one.
Women should have legal, easy access to all types of birth control – including the morning after pill: Again, yes, I agree that women should have access to birth control, but I just wish women and men made different moral judgments on the sex end of the issue.
All in all, I usually find gender discussions, more about trying to find loop holes for morality, rather than helping people, men and women, find true peace and meaning in their lives.
Women should be economically and socially independent. They shouldn’t rely on men to take care of them: A PERSON should know who they are and what makes them tick. A PERSON should know where money is coming from and where money is going and how. I think it’s healthy if a PERSON has a friend or two outside of the family, and their own hobbies. I don’t think it’s right for a woman to expect, or solicit, nice expensive gifts and dinners and such, but in raising a family, I think it is best for one person to be earning an income and one person to be running the household. Both responsibilities are equally hard and equally rewarding and equally important. Just different.
There is no such thing as a “man’s job.” It is wrong for men to be given preference for any job position, even if women traditionally aren’t in that field: growing up I WISHED my dad thought there were ‘men’ jobs and ‘womens’ jobs! I can think of a few jobs, that the average man can do better than the average woman. If I were trapped in a burning house, I would prefer a 6’0” muscular man to carry me out of the 3rd floor, than a 5’6” fit woman. A woman can breast feed, a man can’t. But for most working positions, I think regardless of your gender, race, or religion we should be treated fairly and equitably.
Men and women should be held to the same sexual standards. If men can sleep around without judgment, women should be able to do the same: I don’t think MEN should sleep around! How ‘bout we ALL practice a little sexual monogamy?
Women should take an equal role in dating. Women should ask out people they are interested in and take their turn in paying: Okay, so this one I strongly agree with, and have practiced in the past, and know from sad experience that even though I AGREE with this one, it doesn’t work. At all.
Women should accept their bodies as they are. Women should not have to conform to wacky beauty ideals: I also agree with this one, but maybe not in the way that I’ve heard some women put it. I think we should care about how our bodies work and how healthy we are. I work out every day. I eat a well-balanced diet, and try to get the right amount of sleep. I’m pretty amazed at how my body works; my fingers, my legs, the inside and the out. But yes, it is frustrating when you are 5’9”, wear a size 8, and because you have a C cup, the guy you are dating tells you that women with large breast are fat because breast are just fat cells. And it is frustrating that women at work spend $250 on a hair cut and color, get manicures every week, and spend a fortune on cloths and shoes and are treated more ‘professionally’ than me who is a bit more frugal than all that.
Women should have the right to choose any path in life – from being a stay at home mom to a Fortune 500 CEO: You bet, everyone should have the right to choose their own path. Each choice does have a purpose, a blessing and a consequence. It just seems to me that women who choose one path are pretty nasty to women who choose a different one.
Women should have legal, easy access to all types of birth control – including the morning after pill: Again, yes, I agree that women should have access to birth control, but I just wish women and men made different moral judgments on the sex end of the issue.
All in all, I usually find gender discussions, more about trying to find loop holes for morality, rather than helping people, men and women, find true peace and meaning in their lives.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Sabbath Day
I have found the perfect pre-church Sunday activity for me. Each Sunday morning I walk up to Fellsmere Park with an empty garbage sack, pair of dish gloves and a nice piece of classical music. I know others do not understand what drives me to do these things, but I wish they could feel what peace and happiness I feel in picking up garbage.
As a visitor to the park I am greeted by the early morning sunshine, the sound of the lapping Fellsmere pond and little ducks quacking their hello’s and how are you doings. Old Asian men and women swing their arms and backs in invigorating exercise and smile and say Hi with a polite nod. Frisky little dogs are out taking their morning romp. And I, picking up a few pieces of plastic bags, bottles, and Dunkin Donuts Styrofoam cups get to be a part of that. There is a purpose and a direction that I feel. And a pleasure in knowing that I am helping take care of the Earth. And a connection to other people.
I've been told that it’s working and not keeping the Sabbath day holy, but to me it feels holy and peaceful.
The only thing I can’t figure out is how the majority of the trash winds up in the brambles. Is that where people discard it, thinking that no one else will see it? Is it where the wind blows the unanchored cup? Yes, it’s in the thick of the brambles that I am always trying to tear away a plastic bag from the unyielding thorny bush.
I wonder how much I am like the thorny bush that refuses to let go of the garbage, or how much I am like the garbage that without weight and substance can be tossed and blown about? But mostly I think I am me, a steward over the park who takes joy in its existence and lends a helping hand.
As a visitor to the park I am greeted by the early morning sunshine, the sound of the lapping Fellsmere pond and little ducks quacking their hello’s and how are you doings. Old Asian men and women swing their arms and backs in invigorating exercise and smile and say Hi with a polite nod. Frisky little dogs are out taking their morning romp. And I, picking up a few pieces of plastic bags, bottles, and Dunkin Donuts Styrofoam cups get to be a part of that. There is a purpose and a direction that I feel. And a pleasure in knowing that I am helping take care of the Earth. And a connection to other people.
I've been told that it’s working and not keeping the Sabbath day holy, but to me it feels holy and peaceful.
The only thing I can’t figure out is how the majority of the trash winds up in the brambles. Is that where people discard it, thinking that no one else will see it? Is it where the wind blows the unanchored cup? Yes, it’s in the thick of the brambles that I am always trying to tear away a plastic bag from the unyielding thorny bush.
I wonder how much I am like the thorny bush that refuses to let go of the garbage, or how much I am like the garbage that without weight and substance can be tossed and blown about? But mostly I think I am me, a steward over the park who takes joy in its existence and lends a helping hand.
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