This entry is in response to my friend’s recent post on feminism (under Family Law). Let me first start by clearing up a few misconceptions people have of me. 1) I am not a vegetarian, 2) to the best of my understanding I am not a democrat, 3) I am not rebellious, and 4) I am not a feminist. Perhaps I’m just a very lucky person, and have always done what I wanted to do, and not really ever worried about if it was gender appropriate. I love dresses more than I like pants, but I like climbing trees more than playing with dolls. I went to finishing school and was in beauty pageants as a young girl, but bought a motorcycle at 16. I’m going kayaking on Saturday, and cooking dinner for friends on Sunday. I didn’t feel like any of the choices on the “Are you a feminist?” quiz fit me, and here are my lengthy reasons why:
Women should be economically and socially independent. They shouldn’t rely on men to take care of them: A PERSON should know who they are and what makes them tick. A PERSON should know where money is coming from and where money is going and how. I think it’s healthy if a PERSON has a friend or two outside of the family, and their own hobbies. I don’t think it’s right for a woman to expect, or solicit, nice expensive gifts and dinners and such, but in raising a family, I think it is best for one person to be earning an income and one person to be running the household. Both responsibilities are equally hard and equally rewarding and equally important. Just different.
There is no such thing as a “man’s job.” It is wrong for men to be given preference for any job position, even if women traditionally aren’t in that field: growing up I WISHED my dad thought there were ‘men’ jobs and ‘womens’ jobs! I can think of a few jobs, that the average man can do better than the average woman. If I were trapped in a burning house, I would prefer a 6’0” muscular man to carry me out of the 3rd floor, than a 5’6” fit woman. A woman can breast feed, a man can’t. But for most working positions, I think regardless of your gender, race, or religion we should be treated fairly and equitably.
Men and women should be held to the same sexual standards. If men can sleep around without judgment, women should be able to do the same: I don’t think MEN should sleep around! How ‘bout we ALL practice a little sexual monogamy?
Women should take an equal role in dating. Women should ask out people they are interested in and take their turn in paying: Okay, so this one I strongly agree with, and have practiced in the past, and know from sad experience that even though I AGREE with this one, it doesn’t work. At all.
Women should accept their bodies as they are. Women should not have to conform to wacky beauty ideals: I also agree with this one, but maybe not in the way that I’ve heard some women put it. I think we should care about how our bodies work and how healthy we are. I work out every day. I eat a well-balanced diet, and try to get the right amount of sleep. I’m pretty amazed at how my body works; my fingers, my legs, the inside and the out. But yes, it is frustrating when you are 5’9”, wear a size 8, and because you have a C cup, the guy you are dating tells you that women with large breast are fat because breast are just fat cells. And it is frustrating that women at work spend $250 on a hair cut and color, get manicures every week, and spend a fortune on cloths and shoes and are treated more ‘professionally’ than me who is a bit more frugal than all that.
Women should have the right to choose any path in life – from being a stay at home mom to a Fortune 500 CEO: You bet, everyone should have the right to choose their own path. Each choice does have a purpose, a blessing and a consequence. It just seems to me that women who choose one path are pretty nasty to women who choose a different one.
Women should have legal, easy access to all types of birth control – including the morning after pill: Again, yes, I agree that women should have access to birth control, but I just wish women and men made different moral judgments on the sex end of the issue.
All in all, I usually find gender discussions, more about trying to find loop holes for morality, rather than helping people, men and women, find true peace and meaning in their lives.
6 comments:
Radical Feminism
Liberal Feminism
Socialist Feminism
Cultural Feminism
Ecofeminism
http://www.colostate.edu/Depts/Speech/rccs/theory84.htm
p.s. I just took the quiz, I think it is pretty lame (as an aside I was 82% feminist)p.p.s. I belive there are even more branches to feminist therory than the ones above(womanism, for example).
I think when we think of womens position in the world on the global and class scale many of us would be surprised to find ourselves unknowingly aligning with feminish theroy(even men!), i.e. infantcide (of girl babies), abortion of female fetuses, domestic violence, rape. Radical femiminism is usually the most thought of/pointed at/extreme form of feminism and has made feminism and the lable of feminist a bad thing.
Feminism has always been hard to define because each person has a different view on what feminism is or what a feminist is? I consider myself a feminist, but I know that many other people would say I am not. But like many things, people only look on external aspect to determine whether someone is a feminist. A working mother- a feminist, a stay-at-home mom, not. But nothing can be further from the truth.
A person who is a feminist is someone who supports women in gaining an education, developing their talents, learning how to find their voice and use it, and most importantly of being proud of being a woman. I know many women who call themselves feminists but they reject everything about that is femine (basically they are masculinist: they reject their very nature to become more like men).
From a working mom and soon to be housewife in 26 days.
I agree with you both, and 100% support all women striving to be the best person they can be. And I agree too that I've met 'feminist' who do seem to reject everything femine.
But I also find that I have been more oppressed by other women, than I ever have been by a man. I see women in the workforce sabatoge each other over and over. How does that fit into feminism?
"But I also find that I have been more oppressed by other women, than I ever have been by a man. I see women in the workforce sabatoge each other over and over. How does that fit into feminism?"
I am not exactly sure of your question..my short answer is "It don't" - sounds like competition
One can posit that perhaps that many women feel that they have to fit in to the old school good ol' boys work force rather than be progressive in ideas and lift each other up.
Try reading "creating a life: what every woman needs to know about having a baby and a career": sylvia ann hewlett it has some great ideas in there as well as faces some tough truths...
I'll check out the book. (all though right now, I don't have to really choose between the two. :) )
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