I've been thinking a lot today about questions and the people who ask them. It seems there are people who ask "what" questions and people who ask "why" questions. I don't think I respond well to "what" questions. I feel like I'm being interrogated and the question lingers in my mind long after the conversation ends. These are a few examples of 'what' questions from various levels of friends in the past few weeks: "what do you like to do on the weekend?" "what is your living situation like?" "what would you do if you were in an argument with a friend?" "what is your idea of a perfect marriage?"
These sort of 'what' questions do not stir thought in me. They don't speak any language in my mind for me to answer with emotion and thought but only black and white words. I get "why" questions. "Why do you like Steinbeck?" "Why do you enjoy hiking on Saturday morning?" "Why do you like animals so much?" "Why did the chicken cross the road?" (just kidding. just seeing if you were paying attention.)
Is there a difference between a "what" and a "why" question? Do different personality traits ask one kind of question more over another? Like, I'm an INTJ and I ask and respond more often to 'why' questions. One of my closest friends is also and INTJ and they also seem to ask and respond to 'why' questions.
I tried GOOGLEing this topic, but doesn't seem to be a lot of research out there. Maybe I should change the name of my blog to Why Why's??
2 comments:
interestingly enough. in therapy "why" questions are often avoided as the thought is they put people on the defensive...perhaps it depends upon the type of questions the person asking and the person being asked because I can see "why" being a pretty loaded question.
that makes sense. Maybe I don't trust people who only talk in "what" instead of "why". I always wonder what their hiding and why they don't want to get to know me.
Loaded questions get to the heart of the matter. I like heart.
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