Hypoglycemia

I love order and routine. Sometimes I don't think about it. Order, like air, exist in my life. Sometimes I do feel a little controlled by my obsessive need to control everything around me. I know that it drives other people crazy. Sometimes things occur that make me remember there are reasons that I am methodical in certain aspects of my life. Eating and Exercising are two of those things.

Anyone who has every tried to make plans with me knows that I won't give up exercise for social occasions and that eating food (when, how much, what kind) is always on my mind. These seem like small things but they have a huge impact on my relationship with other people. Sometimes I think my friends think it is my preference to be this way. And since I've been this way for such a long time, I think it's my preference too.

The past few weeks have reminded me that it's not a preference but a necessity. I have always had hypoglycemia. I'm very active and rarely hungry. Without sticking to a formal eating pattern that includes when, and what I'm eating, this trio gets me into trouble. It's usually when I'm out walking and I realize I don't have enough gas in the tank. There is no light going off to say fuel up, but strikes suddenly. This is happening with increasing frequency the past few weeks. Yesterday was the scariest episode I've had in a while.

I left the research office in time to walk to the mart to pick up dinner before watching conference. The moment I left my office I knew that my glucose level was too low. You know how, when a camera takes a picture it takes a second for the shutter to reset before you can take a new picture? My vision was like that. A mere blink would take seconds before my vision would restore. I couldn't judge distance and I was afraid I was going to get hit crossing the road. Walking is difficult as I can't really feel my body and I have to remind myself that I have feet and they do work and to trust they will get me where I need to go. Kind of like when you give the reigns over to the horse and trust he'll get you home safely. Walking into the mart I tried to grab food as quickly as possible. A banana, orange, bread, sliced chicken breast, humus, a small stick of cheese. Standing in the check out line sweat was pouring off of me. I usually do get sweaty in these situations, but this was bad. It was trickling down my back and front, dripping off my nose, my hair became visibly damp. I don't sweat this badly when I work out!

I bought my food, sat down in the closest chair and struggled to peel the banana. I felt better. A nibble of cheese and I felt like I could walk to conference. Outside the breezy 60 degree weather chilled my sweaty body to the bone. I walked to church, ate a portion of my new rations and tried to stay awake through conference. I was wiped out the rest of the evening.

And I thought laying on the kitchen floor with my coat still on and my book bag in hand the other night was bad.

All because I now get up two hours later than I have the past fifteen-years and I work out at a different time of day and I don't have the means to pack and prepare lots of food at the research office.

So next time you want me to rearrange my day to do something fun, please don't think it's because I don't like you, or because I'm anti-social. My routine is almost a case of life and unconsciousness.